Vulnerable
by KagomeMiroku
Summary: Cody gets a little upset over the fact that Noah's not sharing everything with him: better than it sounds


Vulnerable

Chapter One:

It was funny, in some wry sense, how I could never let on my true emotions. How I could never let my guard down, even for the one most dear to me. Trust wasn't something I could fling out like..like Lindsey's imbecile way of saying things. It was like talking to an infant with her, but that wasn't where I was getting to. Actually, I was getting to Cody.

_Share with me the blankets that your wrapped in  
Because its cold outside cold outside its cold outside  
Share with me the secrets that you kept in  
Because its cold inside cold inside its cold inside_

He and I had been dating for almost a year, and he told me just about everything about him. Al he really knew about me was that I was highly intellectual, a bookworm, different, that I was 18, and that my name was Noah Miguel Sanchez. Well, he knew my favorite foods, and games, and all of that stuff, but there was still so much that he hadn't known. Like how scared I was to lose him, or how other people felt. In all honesty, I was self-conscious, but of course my usually sarcastic tone begged to differ. And I was afraid for him to find out that I was in love with him.

_And your slowly shaking finger tips  
Show that your scared like me so  
Let's pretend we're alone  
And I know you may be scared  
And I know we're unprepared  
But I don't care_

Of course, we flung around those little "I love you"s, but we never fully sat down and talked it over. It was weird, he was pretty much and open book and always had his guard down, and I was afraid for him. Afraid of how easily I could read him, he came on a bit too strong, but I loved him for it. In all honesty, I was ready for commitment, but I felt odd talking about it to Cody, he wasn't always so serious about things.

"Noah, I'm home."

It was a late afternoon, and I was home in our apartment, thinking; acting like I was reading some book that I had read over five times. The sun was readying to set and it was mid-summer, a few years after Cody and I met at Camp Wananakwa on that reality show Total Drama Island. It was such a horrible summer, at a horrible place, with horrible people, and for some reason, I was voted off on like the fifth episode, I think, all because of my lack of participation in some juvenile game of dodge ball. Those challenges that that egocentric jerk/host Chris McLean gave us were ridiculously repulsive, I was glad I was off that ratty old island, and on some resort called Playa de Losers with the other contestants who had lost.

_Tell me, tell me  
What makes you think that you are invincible?  
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure  
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable  
Impossible_

Well anyways, Cody had just got back from his job at the coffee shop around the block, and threw his coat on the coat rack. He walked over to me, after I mumbled a low "Hello", and buried my nose in the book that I was "reading", and sat on the arm of the chair, looking over my shoulder.

'What'cha doing?" he asked in his usual chipper tone.

"Reading." Was my short and quick retort. It sounded actually quite mean, but I didn't mean for it to sound so. Things like that happened to me constantly, and I tended to hurt Cody when I never meant it. Luckily, he rejuvenated quick was a wink and kissed the top of my head.

_I was born to tell you I love you  
Isn't that a song already?  
I get a B in originality  
And it's true I can't go on without you  
Your smile makes me see clear  
If you could only see in the mirror what I see_

"I'm gunna order a pizza." He said and reached over me for the cordless phone. And he did just that, as I pretended to read the book that I was looking at, yet looking past.

I wished I could be like him, always happy and so vulnerable. Why would I want to be vulnerable, right? Well, it seemed better than being so uptight, and so utterly pathetic you my attempts to prove everyone wrong.

_And you're slowly shaking finger tips  
Show that you're scared like me so  
Let's pretend we're alone  
And I know you may be scared  
And I know we're unprepared  
But I don't care_

Cody sauntered into our little bedroom and undressed into something comfortable rather than his itchy work uniform. He changed into a pair of sweats and then I heard water running from our bathroom sink. He was probably washing his face or something. Sometimes he really made me think.

He made me think and wonder what he was thinking. That wild, loveable, Cody Ryan Halliwell. Sometimes he really made me wonder. Suddenly, I head sniffing and an almost sob-like sound.

_Tell me, tell me  
What makes you think that you are invincible?  
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure  
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable  
Impossible_

Looking up towards our bedroom door, I glanced carefully. "Cody?" I asked. "You okay, hun?"

"Yeah, Noah, I-I'm fine." I heard him stammer, definitely unsure of his response.

I stood up and made my way to our bedroom door, tip-toeing as silent as I could. Yeah, he was definitely crying. I worried what could possibly be bothering Cody. Maybe some inconsiderate jerk down at the coffee shop was picking on him or something. Walking into our bedroom, I could hear him scolding himself and sniff again.

"Oh, Cody." I said, seeing him huddled in the bathtub, fully dressed in a fetal position. I ran over and hugged him. "What's wrong, babe? C'mon, you can tell me." I was worried, and holding my crying Cody as close to me as I could without pulling him up from the tub, since I really wasn't that strong.

"You." He sobbed. "You're what's wrong!"

I was taken back at his words. Maybe he didn't mean it. Maybe he was just so upset with something, he said something he didn't mean, like I always did.

"You don't know what you're talking about." I mumbled, stroking his hair. "Just calm down."

"No, Noah. I know exactly what I mean. You have ice barricading you're heart." He said, pointing his finger against my chest. I felt, all of the sudden, weird. "How is it that I'm the only one vulnerable?" he asked, a small smile playing on his lips. But it wasn't a happy smile, it was one of melancholy, and I felt so helpless and at a loss for words. But he wasn't.

_Bookworm boy -- you're not going anywhere  
Just wait around and see  
Maybe I am much more you never know what lies ahead  
I promise I can be anyone, I can be anything  
Just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed  
I can be anyone, anything, I promise I can be what you need_

"You think you're so invincible, and I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure. But I see something else in your eyes, Noah. I see uncertainty." He was looking me in the eyes. Those beautiful eyes of his. "Why can't you just be yourself with me? Why do you have to be so uptight? Cut loose." Tears were glistening down his face. "Because if you can't trust me, how am I supposed to trust you?"

"Cody, you don't understand." I said quietly, and looked away towards the different knobs for the water temperature. "I love you. I love you so much that I can't live a day without you. But, I've never really known how to open up." I said, and looked back at him. Through fogged, tear-controlled vision, I could barely see him. "My mother left my dad and me when I was just a baby, and he was never any help. He taught me to never trust anyone. I know, Cody that you're nothing like my mother. But I'm afraid I am."

"Just because you were hurt it doesn't mean that you shouldn't bleed." He said, and held my face between his hands. "I love you, Noah. But I need for you to trust me."

_Tell me tell me  
What makes you think that you are invincible?  
I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure  
Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable  
Impossible_

I nodded, still crying. He pulled my face closer to his, and he kissed me. It was confusing, how it went from my love crying, to me. But I was glad about what happened, because I knew from then on everything was going to be okay.


End file.
